Why is that when some people have kids they seem to lose their identity outside of being “Jimmy or Janie’s Mom”? When my daughter (now 14) started preschool, everyone was just “someone’s mom”. This made me insane. Not that I was unhappy or ashamed to be someone’s mother, but because I still had a friggen name, and that name was not “J’s Mom”. So maybe the preschool industry perpetuates this loss of identity, but I think it’s up to the parent to make a conscious decision to still be an individual.
I work next to a girl who has two small(er) kids. And yes, of course, they are very cute, and funny, and everything they say is just brilliant and insightful, but I can’t remember the last time I actually had a conversation with this person that didn’t involve the words “H said this” or “listen to what M did!.” I get it, as parents we’re proud of our kids, we think they’re wonderful, but how do you tell someone “enough with the kids stories already? Get a life!” because that’s what it comes down to, really, getting a life.
I know that the attitude exists that once you have kids you’ll make them your life until they leave for college, but there are not enough words to describe how totally I am against this line of thinking. It’s important for parents/people/adults to have friends of their own, interests of their own, time to themselves, and things that are just theirs or for them. This doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you real. It makes you well rounded. Because if you’ve done your job well as a parent, someday those kids that you’ve centered your entire existence around will move out. They’ll go to college, they’ll get a life. And what will you be left with?